Alright kiddies let talk some real personal shit now.
Lets begin with the obvious: I have body issues. Everyone does. Being plus size, they tend to be stronger and easier to poke at than others, but we all have them.
I recently came across this blog - http://fatshionpeepshow.blogspot.com/
This. Shit. Right. Here.
Being bigger than the single digit size, its very hard to find clothes that I feel comfortable in - and can afford for that matter. This blog has so many links to stores I can get to (even if shipping is a bitch), so many body positive things to say, and so many outfit ideas, I really just want to hug the writer.
I used to want to fix it, like there was something wrong with me for being larger than most size jeans I could find. I thought maybe if I ate better, did all this exercise, and whatever else maybe I could get down to a 'good size'. I no longer feel the need to fix it. I'm slowly grasping on to the fact that there's nothing to fix. Shopping is still a depressing, frustrating experience that I tend to avoid, but now I blame stores for their lack of selection, not my body for not fitting in.
I think that the main key to looking awesome is feeling awesome. If you don't feel awesome in an outfit, generally people can tell. I'll purposefully hold my arms, or even an object like a coat, in front of my problem areas. I'll second guess my outfit choice all day - is it too tight? How much is my stomach showing right now? Why did I even wear this? Maybe if I stand up straighter and suck it in - nope that made it worse.
Couple this with anxiety and getting dressed in the morning is a nightmare. I'm getting to the point where it is just so stressful thinking all this that I wear whatever and just apply a 'honey badger don't give a fuck' attitude. Luckily, I found stores like Torrid that have clothes I love - but they're freaking expensive. So to thrift stores I go. Still hard as generally the sizes stop around 16 and I'm over here in a cool 18.
I guess the point of all this I'm trying to make is that if I really look around, there are people my size wearing whatever the hell they want, so why shouldn't I? The rockin' lady in the blog shows all sorts of outfits and I have a lot of inspiration now for outfits I'm going to try and arrange. Thank you, internet, for showing me things like this. This is the content I'm here for!